Getting To Know You Better Poems: You’ve come to the right place!

I’m pausing regular programming here on this blog to bring you. . .  what you’ve been asking for.

As you savvy readers probably know, when you sign up for a blog, you don’t only get an empty screen on which to collect your thoughts and fling them out into the world. You also get a cryptic, statistical representation of how your blog is used by said world. You can click on “blog statistics” and see what words people googled to arrive at your blog. Most commonly, the search terms are along the lines of: “dressed-up penis” or “nails in paintings” or “Jesus karaoke funny thing.” I suppose those are to be expected.

Unexpected –at least to me– have been the persistent pleas for “getting to know you better poems.” I’m talking a good TEN PERCENT of all total searches. I don’t know if it is one relentless poetry-starved googler who consistently forgets that he’s already clicked on my blog, or if it’s what lots of people are looking for— and then, sadly, not finding. Did you think that getting-to-know-you-better poetry was best left to romantic comedies with Shakespearian plot lines? Think again! I for one am rather touched that people are hungry for poetry as a means of getting to know their acquaintances and friendly-hopefuls.

So today, rather than disappoint yet another soul, I will offer you some getting to know you better poems.


{disclaimer: I know nothing about writing poetry.}


what’s that on your lip
some food
or maybe your ex
here like a booger


your hair falls from behind your ear
each time like a giddy question
like a puppy
not knowing
when to


maybe this elevator rendition of
and she was
is not so bad
if it gives us reason
to look up
give a knowing look
and smile
(did you fart?)


i think i know you from before
when you were who you are now
not who you were then
draped in black velvet
in the l.a. heat
you didn’t complain


if i knew you
we could paint our arms blue
(we would have many arms)
and sing in sanskrit
taking dutiful
to smirk
our minds


here’s a bear hug
and here are babies clinging
here’s a hairy chest
and here’s a nipple leaking


sweet boy.
(really a girl)
that hula hoop shimmies
thank god
your parents are hippies


nothing says i love you
like pebbles
in the sand
says i want you like a
in my hand
i think it has a smiley face


One response to “Getting To Know You Better Poems: You’ve come to the right place!

  1. fuck i love this.

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